For My Heart is Heavy

I cried out to the Lord,
Lord, why did you give us so much sadness and sorrow?
And the Lord heard my plea.
You said you made us in your image, but does not seem to be enough.
For an image is just the outside shell.
Could you not have put more of yourself inside?
Wouldn't we have been better off?
And the Lord replied,
Surely the Angels, who feel my Glory are better off. But we know what happened there....

I cried out to the Lord,
Lord, my sorrow is much more than I can bear!
And the Lord heard my plea.
Lord I have great pain and sorrows but if only I was more like you, it would not affect me as much.
I would understand more, I would be less emotional, I would be calm.
And the Lord replied,
Did not Jesus weep? If your personal sorrows are great, are not his greater, for they are for the entire world.

And I cried out to the Lord,
Lord, forgive me.
And the Lord heard my plea.
Lord I am selfish and only thinking of myself. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
And the Lord replied,
I am your rock and foundation. Come to me always with your troubles. For even the truth will comfort you.

And I cried out no more.

Dang Gui Chicken Soup

I got my blood levels back from the doctor. I am anemic so was not surprised to see that my hemoglobin, hematocrit, mcv, mch, and rdw were all low.

All bad signs of: anemia, hemorrhaging, low iron, folate, B12 and B6, low stomach acid, rheumatoid arthritis, parasites. No wonder I feel very blah.

Well a friend of mine who works with herb had her mum make me dang gui(angelica root)chicken soup, which I am to take after my dinner. It has a very unique taste, very herbal.

My friend says the soup benefits and balances the blood, nourish the reproductive organs, treats pain and soothes and moistens the intestines.

Hears to healing naturally with food.

The Awful Outcome

It was not our time, it was not our child's time. Everything in God's time.


He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD.
Psalms 113:9

Now how did that Happen

The shocking story:

It all started out as fun and games. October 31st Saturday I was at a cool mystical Halloween Party at the Legion of Honor in SF. I had several wicked cocktails and started eyeing a sexy pirate. We had a rip roaring adventure. Then fast-forward three weeks later to , Nov 21st and I am staring at positive preg test..... Now how did that happen?

The boring truth:

My husband(pirate) had been trying for some time and now have great news.

The earnest truth:

OMG what have we done. Life will never be the same. At least I am counting on it. :0